


A Certain Slant of Light

by junxouji



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Fluff, In which Luhan is Jongin's editor, Literature, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:00:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/pseuds/junxouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Intelligent, poignant, and deeply insightful Jongin is everything Luhan needs and more. He desires him as he has never desired another person.</p><p>Jongin finds himself lured in by Luhan and his work. After successfully becoming his intern, Jongin realizes how magical Luhan is. Albeit, he has a trunk of demons hidden away but he also shines like a ray of celestial feelings. Jongin has found someone he cannot let go.</p><p>One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Seoul, two men are about to cross paths. As their worlds collide and intertwine, they find their lives going in every direction possible, building toward romantic disaster and soul searching cures for diseases and self hatred. Suffering is hard but suffering alone in a world with so many is worse. Jongin wants to know everything Luhan is hiding from him, Luhan wants nothing more than to hide it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Certain Slant of Light

 

There is a dawning of realization that happens once in a lifetime that you’re utterly and completely lost. It had been a recurring theme in Luhan’s life since he was young. Something he had never stumbled past, a plague of deprivation clinging to him like a leech, begging for every ounce of who he was.

 

It was one these nights, Luhan would cry not sure why he had been cursed by whatever God roamed above in the skies.

 

Moving from China to Seoul seemed responsible. The business he worked for was spreading and needed representatives in Korea. It was after a bad breakup he decided he needed a new life. The more he thought about Yixing the more he seemed to relapse. 

 

Luhan had loved with every fiber of his pathetic existence. He had loved him as the moon loved the stars, the night skies, and the hungry people seeking the moon’s affection. It was the loneliness came knocking and he broke harder than he had ever in his entire life.

 

He broke, and he broke, and he  broke .

  
 

“Luhan?” The voice broke his momentary thoughts and his wide bright expressive brown eyes turned to his boss with a tinge of curiosity.

 

“I’m sorry.” Luhan said quickly. “I was zoned out. What did you say?” He sat across from in the coffee shop they commonly came to for going over things that necessarily didn’t need to be in the office. Such as travel plans, expenditures, and other over-coffee type of subjects.

 

Minseok had always been very understanding of Luhan, more so than anyone else in his life. Including his family. So Luhan worked hard and long hours for the other. He was one of the few people he knew he could depend on. Sometimes, Minseok casted desirous glances at him and Luhan would meekly ignore them not wanting to cross that line. However accepting Minseok was he wasn’t going to be that accepting if he ever found how  ill Luhan truly was.

 

“I was saying” Minseok began, taking a sip of his coffee as Luhan’s own remained untouched as always, “We have the reputation of being one of the most successful publishing companies. But I want to take it further. I think we should contact a director. We should try to promote some of our authors into making screenplays of their successful books.”

 

Luhan blinked, gloves hands resting in his lap. He hadn’t imagined Minseok saying that. Almost anything but that.

 

“That seems like a risky venture. We just got success and stability.” Luhan said slowly as his nose wrinkled to the cup Minseok was sipping from. He could almost imagine the smudgy bacteria clinging to the porcelain cup.

 

“All successful businessmen have to risks every once in a while. And the worst that can happen is no movie is made.” Minseok glanced at his watch. “Shit, I am going to have to cut our coffee short. I have to go pick up my brother’s kids from school. I get paid  way too much to act as his babysitter.”

 

Luhan smiled faintly, indifferent, not a tinge of jealousy. Luhan actually disliked kids a lot. But for the sake of keeping appearances he smiled and nodded. “That’s fine. This means I have time to go pick up a rough draft from someone who hasn’t met deadline.” He stood picking up his notebook that rested on a napkin on the table. He pulled a small pack of alcohol wipes from his pocket. Minseok’s brow raised slightly but he learned long ago to not ask about Luhan’s habits as he wiped the notebook down and then tossed it in the disposal bin. As he turned for the door, his breath quickened. A mad  thump, thump, thump.  He opened another alcohol wipe and opened the door with it despite wearing gloves and headed on his way.

 

There were many things Luhan disliked doing. He first and foremost hated filth. Anything he could touch, held the possibility for harmful bacteria and dirt. It’s why he constantly wore white gloves everywhere he went. It got him a lot of strange looks in summer but he nonetheless got use to it. Inside or out, the looming threat of germs hung over his head.  He hated the idea of touching anything with his bare hands. Even when he wore gloves and accidentally touched something without disinfecting it first  made him feel the urge to wash his hands many times. He hated the idea of eating or drinking anything in a restaurant. How could he know if they cleaned everything properly? He hated the idea of people touching his things, his body, and everything that posed a threat to him.

 

He knew it wasn’t a normal conplusion. But he had slowly gotten use to it. He never went to bookstores, never went shopping, never ate out-- after a long day of work he would take all of his clothes off right when he walked to prevent the spread of anything that might have gotten on his clothes. He would change into new clothes, wash his old ones, and throw his gloves away for that day before stepping all the way into his apartment. 

 

It was something he had always done. Ever since he was a child. Ever since he could remember he had always been this way. Granted, when he was younger he had refused to even go outside. But now it was much more tolerable. He went outside and fought the urge to wash his hands every few seconds. He carried cleansing wipes and his gloves.

 

Some called him obsessive compulsive, some called him eccentric but in reality Luhan was just suffering from an extreme fear of germs. Mysophobia. And to Luhan, it was a reasonable fear. After all, there was so many diseases and types of contaminations out in the world. He had to safeguard himself in the best way possible. Even if it did get a little awkward at times.

 

Like the moment the door opens of the new writer’s shitty apartment and Luhan’s eyes glaze over. Because he’s never been in love but there is something lovable about the way the other looks at him. Maybe it’s the tousled hair Luhan’s hand is itching to fix, or the worn sweater that seemed a little oversized on the other, and the way his eyes batted curiously.

 

“Oh! Sunbae! You’re here for the new manuscript of my book right?” A bright smile crosses his handsome young face.

 

Luhan is sure there is a million and one bacterias on in his tan youthful face but there was nothing else he wanted to caress more that moment. Because Jongin was a star. A celestial essence of warmth and comfort. In his presence he could forget the ticking clock of his impending doom or the itch to wash his hands until they cracked from dryness. With Jongin, Luhan felt normal.

  
And how good normal felt.


End file.
